Wednesday, May 30th, 2007
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6:55 pm
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Dear Sarah,
I have no idea what made me think of you. You just kind of popped into my mind.
I havent talked to you since...December of 2006 and it was to ask me a question about Sex & the City.
You never told me you moved permanently.
You let your mom hate me.
She probably still hates and doesn't trust me and yet she's probably on another side of California.
She probably blames me indirectly for the shit you pulled.
I used to be like her daughter...that was my second home.
You weren't there to tell me to stop.
You weren't even there to see me do it.
When i told you all you said was "oh...how is it?"
You fucked up your life down here. No wonder your mom sent you up North, because she couldn't handle you anymore.
Hopefully you're doing better up there. I have no idea. You didn't leave a number or an e-mail. Not even a fucking MySpace.
You'll never even read this so i'm not sure the purpose of it.
But you were my only best friend for SO LONG. Honestly my only real friend.
You did THAT. I trusted you so much and call me idealistic but i thought you would be there forever.
I thought you would go to Harvard and be a lawyer like you wanted.
I thought we would buy an apartment in New York like we talked about in 8th Grade.
I thought we would graduate together.
I thought we would get ready together for Prom.
I thought I would meet your first boyfriend.
When I told you we couldn't be friends anymore on the bus and that I might be able to explain my reasoning later my heart honestly broke.
That day...I didn't stop crying and I couldn't explain it to anyone.
I felt hollow for so long after that.
I don't think you ever got what happened that year.
Yes in a short span of time but so much happened.
You of all people know why it even started.
All I needed was for you to show me some kind of sign that you were there.
Not even a call because your Mom didn't want you talking to me.
If that was me on the other end, I wouldn't have cared but you saved your own ass.
When I said I was sorry all you wrote back was that if I hadn't I wasn't the Best Friend you thought I was.
During the last school year...Sophmore year...I walked all the way to your old apartment because my Mom and I got in a fight. I just walked there instinctively not remembering you werent there. I must have gotten to your house around 7:45 at night. I got there and didn't see any car, all the lights were off. I stepped into the back patio and saw everything was empty and remembered you weren't there anymore. Right then I burst into tears because I just wanted so bad to talk to you. The backdoor was unlatched for some reason so I walked in. I sat around the empty house and walked around for about an hour. I sat in the middle of the room and cried. Then I walked home.
When I was in San Francisco I honestly just wanted to run into you. If I did I don't think I know what I would have done. Since you were the first person I went there with I had flashbacks everywhere we were.
Not even a proper hello or goodbye.
I just always miss you and wonder what things would be like if we hadn't fucked up so much.
But then again I love that I did because I wouldn't be as close to the person I am right now if we hadn't.
If you hadn't left me here to pick myself up I wouldn't have the amazing people I have right now.
I wouldn't have met everyone last summer. I dont regret anything about last summer or anyone at all, not seeing other people displacing myself from my family.
They were everything I needed right then.
Yeah the repurcussions sucked, but those months and the small amount of months following that were still amazing.
I guess I hold onto things too much.
Love Always,
Andrea
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(comment on this)
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Monday, February 26th, 2007
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8:04 pm - Swirling In A Black Hole Of Poop
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Dear Lord Jesus Christ Almighty Creator of Heaven and Earth,
My mother is quite the heaven-sent angel!
Please send more.
However..I am inclined to still believe
in the pit of my heart-
that the only real True Blue companions that I have- obtained
over my 16 1/2 Meaningless years of existence are SpiderMandee and Alyssa PandaFish Terry.
Please answer my prayers
without this Pink Contraption I dont know what I would do.
aniudnbw98hpfeau0954nouju89j9p45nura8un9rtijoeriogyw4gygr8oijsrtj0vektm904egj98r
For Eternity-
Miss.
let freedom ring.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Saturday, January 27th, 2007
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9:24 am - hardly condensed.
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All right.
Repeat after me—
I'm gonna be free.
I'm gonna be free.
And I'm gonna be brave.
I'm gonna be brave.
Good.
And the next one is—
I'm gonna live each day
as if it were my last.
I'm gonna live each day
as if it were my last.
Fantastically.
Fantastically.
Courageously.
Courageously.
With grace.
With grace.
wouldnt we like to think so.
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, January 24th, 2007
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8:14 pm
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“A man said to the universe: "Sir, I exist!"
"However," replied the universe,
"The fact has not created in me a sense of obligation”
-Stephen Crane
i like that this makes me feel insignificant.
kind of odd.
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, February 25th, 2006
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7:04 pm
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today was one of the greatest days ever!!!
it was SPECIAL.
we dont even know how many honks we got.
our first walk under the tunnel
tacone=andrea, rachel, alyssa, and krystal FULL
seeing douche-mier working
BARNES AND NOBLE
sitting under the earphone thingys
and outside
Rachel" STOP LOOKING AT ME!!"
KRYSTAL AND I" dood watch hes gonna come back"
ALL OF US" oh shit hes coming back!!"
AWESOME
so what does my default icon look like?
current mood:  busy
current music: alicia keys
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(5 comments | comment on this)
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Tuesday, January 24th, 2006
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5:29 pm
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my parents are going out of town this weekend.
cool.
i just looked at his myspace. to leave a comment. a funny comment.
and he now has a girlfriend.
i was just kinda hoping.
he was so cool.
there are other people out there i guess.
current mood: bummed
current music: Maroon 5- Sunday Morning
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, November 10th, 2005
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4:12 pm
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PLAY tomorrow!!!
I dont think they'll fuck up the movie.
Go KATHADER!!
Cherisse was so kind to invite be to the UCLA game on Saturday!!
I'm stoked.
Lots and lots of hw...stupid world history.
Actually i like that class, just too many things to do.
And last thing, just say it to her face!
Dont ask who i'm talking about. Person you know who you are. I just think its kinda shitty you cant say it to her face.
current mood:  cold
current music: Coheed and Cambria-Ten Speed
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, September 26th, 2005
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8:51 pm
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Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
current mood:  contemplative
current music: The Killers-Believe Me Natalie
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(comment on this)
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Saturday, September 24th, 2005
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7:53 pm
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Race today
Woke up at 4:30
Raced at 9
Got 99th out of 214 gals
23:17
Not bad
Brandy was Alyssa today
Tired
In n Out was good
current mood:  thirsty
current music: Acceptance- Different
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Thursday, September 22nd, 2005
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6:57 pm
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Im so fucking tired its not even funny. Not a bad day, but not a good one.
Like 3 tests tomorrow...yay. Yeah i have to go cram my brain right now, and hope it works. Later.
current mood:  sleepy
current music: Reggie and the Full Effect- Get Well Soon
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(comment on this)
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Wednesday, September 14th, 2005
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6:05 pm
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Brandy will post pictures later. Cuz theyre awesome and we love them and it wouldnt have been the same without Brandy, Erica and Alyssa. I love you guys.
IN N OUT MILKSHAKES YAAAAAAAA!!
current mood:  sore
current music: Chevelle-Panic Prone
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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6:03 pm
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I SAW PETE AND SAM LOEFFLER AND I HAD A FULL ON CONVERSATION WITH THEM AND LIKE THEY ARE AWESOME AND I LOVE THEM AND I LOVE THEM AND DID I SAY I LOVE THEM!!!! Yeah, so they are incredible. Sam is cute. Pete is fucking hot and awesome and i wont get over last night ever.
current mood: sore
current music: Chevelle-Panic Prone
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(comment on this)
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Monday, September 12th, 2005
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8:39 pm
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I GET TO SEE PETE LOEFFLER TOMORROW!!!!!
current mood:  bouncy
current music: The All-American Rejects- It Ends Tonight
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(comment on this)
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10:19 am
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Why are some people so oblivious...
current mood:  aggravated
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, September 11th, 2005
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12:23 pm
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Chemistry projects are much easier than they seem at first.
current mood: busy
current music: Reggie and the Full Effect- Get Well Soon
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(2 comments | comment on this)
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Friday, September 9th, 2005
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12:14 pm
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So im in the library right now. And i have to leave in like 10 minutes to go to the meet. Im supposed to be doing my project.
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(1 comment | comment on this)
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Tuesday, September 6th, 2005
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8:25 pm
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I just wanted to tell everyone on here that i love you. I really do. If i didn't then you wouldnt be able to look at my livejournal. Yeah, i love you guys.
current mood:  sick
current music: The All-American Rejects-Drive Away
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Monday, September 5th, 2005
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4:14 pm
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So...who exactly is going to the Chevelle show tomorrow?
Raise a hand or if you know the list, post it.
current mood:  listless
current music: Windsor-Fall In Line
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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Wednesday, August 31st, 2005
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5:16 pm
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I HATE when people blow things sooooo out of proportion its not even funny.
Then 5 minutes later, its like nothing happened.
Thats annoying.
current mood:  frustrated
current music: the sound of me eating tortilla chips
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(comment on this)
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Sunday, August 28th, 2005
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12:53 pm
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So i have an extra ticket to go see Chevelle on September 13th. Who wants to go?
current mood: contemplative
current music: All American Rejects-Stab My Back
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(3 comments | comment on this)
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